He said that I was unclean, untidy and not hygenic..
I was really shocked by this because actually I am very clean. I have a shower twice a day. Wear clean clothes. If I’m busy at work my bedroom may get a little messy. Although recently it’s been spotless.
I’m moving out of the flat soon. It’s his flat and he’s renting out to tenants. This is a short term agreement and he’s showing the flat to estate agents and potential tenants.
I’m dismayed because I tidied up my bathroom and bedroom. He even emailed me to thank me. Because he knows I made an effort.
I’m so disappointed and I feel almost betrayed…
He’s not working and I have recently got a good job. I keep thinking maybe he’s slightly jealous.
Oh sigh! Any thoughts?
I have another 4 weeks…
So far I’ve been slightly quieter with him.
Unsure how to act? I brought loads of soap and left it all around the room…
I just feel like I don’t trust him and needed to vent!
Thanks Cindy x
Originally posted 2010-06-27 02:39:34. Republished by Old Post Promoter
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#1 by over 55 and over the hill at June 28th, 2010
just forget it ..dont trust him and move out and move on
#2 by Chakra at July 1st, 2010
So what’s your question? You’re moving out soon anyway, what’s the problem now?
#3 by kat1tan at July 4th, 2010
Just sounds like he’s jealous because you are getting on with your life and he seems to be at a stand still. I wouldn’t let his comments bother me. I would leave on friendly terms so he wouldn’t have any reason to bad mouth you.
#4 by mcq316 at July 8th, 2010
He could just be ’selling’ the vacant room to potential tenants. By saying that YOU were messy, it makes people think he’s the ‘good’ roommate so they’ll move in with him.
#5 by eyJude at July 10th, 2010
he was useing that as an excuse as to why you were moving out.
most likely he is that way about everyone …
so don’t worry about it and just move.
when you leave just say BTW.. I heard what you said.. and you are a lier!
#6 by star at July 11th, 2010
Well since you are moving out anyways, whats the harm in confronting him about it. You may feel better plus you wont have to deal with him much longer.
Just tell him, ” I happen to over hear you on such and such day mention to potential tenants that I was unclean, untidy and not hygienic.” Continue to tell him that he knows very well that you are a clean and tidy person, just because he may see you room slightly disorganized because of your work schedule, does not mean what you said about me. It was completely uncalled for, tell him, he LIED about you!
He talked and lied behind your back which is called backbiting. Why couldn’t he say it in front of you, is he scared of you?
Approach him with confidence and sternly. Don’t dwell on it too much, just let him know that you heard and he was wrong. If he cross examines you, just ignore him and go about your business in the house or what ever, Don’t talk to him again unless it is important.
#7 by Sahara at July 13th, 2010
I’m not surprised that it was exaggerated b/c I think that’s a rule when complaining. To get people to feel for you or to listen then you have to make it seem outlandish. I think we all may do it from time to time.
You should try to have a heart to heart talk with him. I’m a big believer in communication because I have seen it work again and again. It may take more than one talk depending upon hurt feelings and sensitivity.
I don’t always know how to say things tactfully so I’ll just say it – but say – I don’t want to hurt you – I just don’t know how to say this another way so please do not take it literally or harshly b/c that’s wrong and not what I’m intending. I need some help.
Communication, especially about something like this can bring people closer together.
#8 by Cherry at July 15th, 2010
Don’t worry about it, sometimes people just need to have a moan even if what they say is totally wrong! so what if you are messy you should just laugh about it! I am messy and I know it hehe people always tell me but I don’t care
#9 by Cala B at July 16th, 2010
So he’s a sneaky little git who probably blamed you for the fact that he hadn’t bothered to tidy up. So what? You’re leaving anyway. Just hope that the next flatmate he gets is one of life’s great unwashed, stinks of garlic, becomes incontinent after 3 pints and farts a lot! Would serve him right.